Thanksgiving Madness
by L1701E
Summary: Chapter 10 up! Complete! A Thanksgiving with the X-Men and the Misfits! Suggestions needed badly! RR Please!
1. Average Day!

Thanksgiving Madness!  
  
Hey folks! L1701E here! Since it's November, Yours Truly thought that it was time to bring out a Thanksgiving fic starring the X-Men and the Misfits! I might have the Avengers make an appearance. I hope you enjoy this fic!  
  
I personally hope they don't end X-Men Evo! There are so many characters that have yet to make appearances: Banshee, Sunfire, Dazzler, Psylocke, Siryn, and that's just for starters!  
  
Disclaimer: Red Witch has Althea, Xi, and Trinity, I own Kid Razor and the Starr Family, and everybody else belongs to Marvel Comics!  
  
This story does contain some spoilers for "Hotter than Hellion".  
  
Chapter 1: Average Day!  
  
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"Well, we finally put away the Halloween decorations." Rogue wiped her gloved hands as she and Sam walked downstairs from the X-Mansion's attic. They passed by Jamie, who was doing another multi-million dollar deal from his office.  
  
"Yeah." Jamie said into his cell phone. "I want my boys to perform at the World's Most Famous Arena! I want to see my boys at MSG, baby! Madison Square Garden, dude! Yeah! Look, the critics love my band! They hail the Superstars as the new Kiss! Yeah!" His face then contorted to anger. "Are you saying my boys are a Kiss rip-off!?! You know what's a rip-off?! You, that's what! Don't give me that 'Don't Mess with Texas' stuff! You ain't a Texan! I know a Texan! You're a New York Dolt!" Jamie snapped. "Oh yeah!? Kiss mine, you idiot! You wouldn't know talent if it walked up to you, kicked you in the butt, and then had its way with your wife! Yeah, and she's an ugly old bag too!" Jamie slammed his phone shut. "Moron." He looked at Rogue and Sam, and smiled. "Hey guys."  
  
"Hey, Jamie." Rogue laughed. "Bad business deal?"  
  
"Guy's a moron." Jamie groaned in a Queens accent. "He's a complete dope. He wouldn't allow the Superstars to give MSG a shot. Claims they're not big yet."  
  
"They don't even have a record deal. Just you." Sam grinned.  
  
"And the knucklehead also claimed that I had a problem with Italians!" Jamie put his hands in the air. "Why would I have a problem with Italians!?!"  
  
"Ah wouldn't know." Rogue shrugged. She heard the sound of teleporting, as well as a scream.  
  
"OWWWW!!!!! PAUL, YOU MADE ME FALL OFF THE ROOF!!! I NEARLY BROKE MY NECK!!!" Scott screamed from outside.  
  
"Sorry dude." Paul's voice responded.  
  
"SUGAH!!!!!" Rogue squealed happily, running outside. Rogue's voice trailed off as she sang in a sing-song voice. "Oh sugahhhhhhh, come give mama a cuddle..." Sam shook his head.  
  
"She's got it bad." Sam said to Jamie. Jamie smirked.  
  
"Like you towards a certain green-skinned girl?" Jamie smirked knowingly.  
  
"That's different!" Sam snapped.  
  
"HELP ME!!!" Barbecue ran past, Lionheart chasing him. "LIONHEART, LEAVE ME ALONE!!!"  
  
"You know you think I look cute in this hat!" Lionheart squealed. She wore a black cowboy hat she obtained in Hollywood. Her favorite actor wore that very hat she had on her head.  
  
{Man, why'd I have to be the object of the affections of a girl with severe obsession problems?} Barbecue thought as he ran for his life. Meanwhile, Kitty was showing around a Native American girl clad in blue jeans, cowboy boots, and an earth-toned t-shirt. Her long black hair was in pigtails, and her wrists and neck were decorated by traditional jewelry.  
  
"Like, this place has changed a lot since you were here last, Dani." Kitty said.  
  
"Yes, there have been some changes. I still cannot believe that the Brotherhood are gone." The Native American girl said in amazement. "They're now the Misfits, and they're the good guys."  
  
"Yeah, they work for GI Joe. I told you about them." Kitty said. Dani smiled.  
  
"Yes, they certainly have done a lot for huh?" Dani Moonstar's eyes went wide with shock. She had just laid eyes on the Beast. He was clad in full Scottish regalia, doing a Riverdance-type jig, while playing bagpipes. Surprisingly, he was quite good. "What is the Beast doing?" Kitty groaned.  
  
"Aw great. Like, Mr. Stark gave him more Scottish whiskey." Kitty groaned. Danielle scratched her head.  
  
"You mean Tony Stark?" She asked. Kitty nodded. Beast stopped and smiled.  
  
"Ah, Danielle Moonstar! How've you been doing, lass? It's been a while!" Beast grinned, speaking in a Scottish brogue. "Hope those infernal Englishmen hadn't been bothering ya, lass."  
  
"Englishmen?" Danielle scratched her head in confusion.  
  
"Beast has an interesting reaction to Scottish liquor." Kitty groaned.  
  
"I find it quite hilarious at times." A voice laughed. Kitty sighed longingly at the source of the voice when she turned around. The source was one Paul Stanley Starr, the guitar-playing, super-charming, raven-maned superstar Misfit codenamed Starchild. "Just don't make fun of Scotland around Mr. McCoy in that state, and everything'll be juuuuuuuust fine."  
  
"Dani, this is Paul Stanley Starr, one of the Misfits." Kitty grinned. "He's a musician, a superstar, and..." Kitty sighed longingly as she added the last part of the statement: "A professional dreeeeeeeeamboat." Dani cleared her throat.  
  
"Um, hello Paul." Dani smiled. "I'm..."  
  
"Danielle Moonstar is your name." Paul grinned, blowing a bubble pipe. "You're from the American Southwest, your favorite color is turquoise, you have the ability to create illusions from mental images of other people..." Paul then rattled out some more facts about the Native American mutant, like he knew her all his life. Dani blinked in amazement.  
  
"Wow." She said. "Is he a telepath?"  
  
"No." Kitty replied. "He has hypnotic powers and can fire a laser from his right eye. Isn't he cute?"  
  
"A big pleasure to meet you, Danielle." Paul grinned. He made a rose appear in his right hand, and he gave it to her. He then kissed her hand, making the Native American giggle.  
  
"Call me Dani." She said, batting her eyelashes. Craig passed by, and he groaned.  
  
"Aw no, not another one!" He moaned as he went by.  
  
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Scott rubbed his neck as he put the ladder back in the shed.  
  
"Razzum frazzum grumble Starchild, nearly made me break my neck grumble trying to kill me razzum frazzum blast his head off his neck..." Scott growled and grumbled as he walked back to the mansion.  
  
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Jake Wildfire and Jason Fox were indulging in their favorite hobby: Watching wrestling. Jake had a huge collection of tapes. The two ex- Hellions were watching Wrestlemania X. The current match was Bret Hart vs. Owen Hart.  
  
"Man, Owen is miffed!" Fox laughed. "You know why he hated his brother? He was sick and tired of Bret getting all the chicks."  
  
"If Owen was angry then, wait until the title match. Owen proved he could beat his older brother, only for his older brother to appear later in the night and defeat the huge Yokozuna for the WWF title. Bret steals Owen's thunder." Jake shrugged.  
  
"Hey Jake, is it true that Owen was planning to retire when he died?" Fox asked.  
  
"Yeah." Jake drooped his head sadly. "Owen loved to play jokes. He taught me the secret of pulling a good prank. I miss him. He was planning to hang up the boots and spend more time with his family. I went to his funeral. I half-expected him to jump out of the casket and laugh his head off at our reaction. Ever since then, I've never had the heart to play pranks. I couldn't do it anymore. I felt like I'd be disrespecting his memory." Fox grinned.  
  
"Jake, if I know anything about Owen Hart, I think he would've wanted you to continue the pranking. You know, continue his work. Talk to Wagner. He'll help." Ever since joining the X-Men, Fox has calmed down a bit. He has stopped calling Kurt "furball" and Sam "redneck" for example. Jake lived and trained with the Misfits, but he was neutral. He did not consider himself an X-Man or a Misfit. That really helped preserve his sanity, considering he wasn't dragged into many of the fights between the two groups. "You know what your problem is, Jake? You think too much about what others think of you. Sometimes Jake, you have to just do something, and not care what others think of you. Draconis is gone, we got a bunch of real buds, hot chicks everywhere! Right now, life is good." Fox leaned back with a smile. Jake sighed.  
  
"Draconis is still out there, Fox. And I'm scared, man. What's he up to?" Jake wondered.  
  
"He won't mess with us again, Jake. You showed you were stronger than he was. He won't ever want to get back into your mind again. Relax, Jake." Fox sat up with a smile. "I know a way to get your mind off this." He pulled out another tape. "Royal Rumble 2000. Miss Royal Rumble Swimsuit Conteeeeest..." Fox sang, waving the tape. Jake smiled.  
  
"Alright. I'll prove to you that the Rock was eliminated first." Jake grinned as he changed tapes.  
  
"Forget the Rumble! I wanna see Terri in that swimsuit again!" Fox grinned.  
  
Well, looks like another day in the Xavier Institute! What'll happen in this Thanksgiving? Will anything get blown up? Will Kelly and Duncan get brutalized? I hope so. What about turkeys? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly! 


	2. A New Problem!

Thanksgiving Madness  
  
To Wizard1: Yup, Danielle Moonstar's the sixth X-Girl to fall for Paul Starr (Craig: PAUL, WHEN WILL YOUR FLIRTING END?!?!) I sincerely doubt Barbecue will ever succumb to Lionheart's charms. (Lionheart: Oh yes he will!! That New England cutie's gonna be mine!) Jake has friends on both teams, so one could assume even though he lives with the Misfits, his neutrality makes him not part of the "official" Misfit team. Jake's handler will be revealed here. Fox's personality was meant to have the classic HBK egocentrism, Stifler's (from American Pie) horniness, and Pietro's vanity. I created him so the X-Men would have an egomaniac of their own.  
  
To Aaron: The mutants first meet Ace Starr during "Hotter than Hellion". Yep, Dani's the latest in a long list of girls to go after the Starchild. I'm sure Owen would love to see Jake end his retirement from pranking. Glad you might use the Starrs (Paul, Craig, and Ace).  
  
To Red Witch: Oh, Kelly will get some! Glad you love it!  
  
To todd fan: Love your work! Glad you like mine! I haven't gotten a review from you since "Genesis of a Dragon"! I was asked to bring in Moonstar, so here she is!  
  
To Sparky Genocide: Great idea you got, but who's Gnawgahyde and what does he/she/it look like? I like the idea of Leathersuit, though. Would it be okay if I made some alterations to the character?  
  
Chapter 2: A New Problem!!  
  
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Fox grinned evilly as he saw Scott approach. Fox was lying on a couch. Jake had left to get a drink. He immediately whipped out a boombox. It started playing Kurt Angle's theme song. Scott stopped and glared.  
  
"You suck!" Fox sang, pointing. "You suck! You suck! You suck! You suck! You suck! You suck! You suck!"  
  
"I hate you, Fox." Scott growled as he stomped away. Foxfire laughed.  
  
"Love ya too, Red-Eye." Fox laughed. "Hello..." Fox noticed Danielle walk by. "Hey babe, stop and turn around for a second." Danielle stopped walking.  
  
"Um, okay..." She stopped and turned for a second. Fox looked her over for a second with a grin.  
  
"Nice." Fox nodded approvingly. "Very nice. Very nice indeed."  
  
"Oh great." Kitty sighed. "Dani, this is Fox, the team pervert." Dani glared at Fox.  
  
"She's a liar, babe!" Fox said in a panic.  
  
"Oh yeah? What about that little glory-hole in the girls' bathroom, huh?" Kitty glared.  
  
"That was not, I repeat, NOT me!" Fox said. "It was Kurt!"  
  
"You're a pervert and a liar, Fox!" Kitty huffed, and walked away. Fox made a mocking sound. Danielle glared.  
  
"Just wait until you sleep, Fox." Danielle said with an evil smirk, then she followed Kitty. "Hey Kitty, tell me more about Paul!"  
  
"Kitty Pryde. Seems sweet, but is actually more sour than a truckful of rotten lemons." Foxfire sneered. "Lance deserves better."  
  
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(Back Roads, outside of Bayville)  
  
A blue van, marked with a certain red snake insignia, drove along the back roads outside of Bayville. Two Cobra Vipers were driving. Actually, one was driving, the other was playing a video game.  
  
"What are you playing, dude?" The driving Viper asked the playing Viper.  
  
"Space Battle Mechs." The playing Viper replied. "Aw nuts, I keep getting beat."  
  
"What're your stats?"  
  
"Attack Power: 50. Defense Power: 29. Special Weapon Power: 53. Special Defense Power: 39. Speed: 47."  
  
"Ahh, there's your problem." The driving Viper said. "You mech's defensive power is very low. Your mech needs more armor." The van went over a bump in the road. "Whoa!" Unbeknownst to the two Vipers, a canister fell out of the back of the van. The canister rolled down the mountain, until it landed in the middle of a turkey farm. The canister broke on impact, causing a glowing neon blue gel-like substance to ooze out. A turkey walked up to the ooze. With its trademark gobble, the turkey ate some of the odd substance.  
  
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Jake teleported in to the Institute's common room, alongside his Joe handler, the CBN warfare specialist and the man with many hobbies, Airtight. In Jake's hands, he carried Toothy, the muffin creature, created when Darkstar's eye laser blasted one of Kitty's muffins. Toothy growled happily, nuzzling Jake. Airtight was thrilled when he found out he'd have his own Misfit. Jake often helped him out on experiments and stuff, and Airtight did start another collection with Jake's help: Wrestling merchandise. Today, Jake wore an old Undertaker t-shirt, along with red jeans and white sneakers. Scott walked up to Jake. One could notice that Toothy had undergone some changes: It was a little larger, and it developed a pair of three-fingered arms like a T-rex. Jake's main duty under Airtight was the care of Toothy and observing the muffin creature.  
  
"Here for the Thanksgiving dinner?" Scott asked. Jake smiled.  
  
"Yup." Jake nodded. Toothy roared at the sight of Scott. "Toothy! No!" Toothy leapt out of Jake's arms, and using its big crocodile-like jaws, chomped on a part of Scott.  
  
"AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Scott screamed in a high voice.  
  
"Bad Toothy! Off! Off! Get off that!" Airtight and Jake ordered, trying to get Toothy off Scott. Toothy finally let go, making Scott whimper and get into the fetal position.  
  
"Why? Why Why Why?" Scott whimpered.  
  
"What is with you Toothy?" Jake held a fidgeting Toothy. Toothy only let out a "Rowr!" in response. Jake sighed. Why couldn't Toothy see or talk? "Every time Scott comes near you, you attack him."  
  
"I'll get something for him. I'll be right back." Airtight teleported away. Pietro zipped in.  
  
"Hey Jake I need AAAAAGHHH!!!! NO GET IT OFF!!!" Pietro panicked as Toothy leapt up and attacked his face. "Not the face! Not the face! OH GOD NOT THE FACE!!!"  
  
"TOOTHY!!!" Jake yelled, trying to get Toothy off. "I hope Airtight's getting the cattle prod!"  
  
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A turkey farmer emerged from his home, ready to fatten the turkeys for Thanksgiving. He walked to his pasture of free-range turkeys. He didn't notice a canister emblazoned with the Cobra logo, but he did notice his turkeys were glowing blue.  
  
"What the--?" He scratched his head. "Girls, you ok?"  
  
"BURP!!!" The turkeys burped, and then something weird happened. They grew and mutated.  
  
"Oh holy Toledo." The farmer gulped. The turkeys grew to around six feet in height. Their wings mutated into feathery arms with more powerful-looking wings attached, and their bodies became more powerful. "Uh...niice mutant turkeys?" He noticed the feathers on the biggest turkey's head looked like a crown. "Uh oh." The crowned turkey, now known as the King Turkey, ordered in a big booming gobble. The other mutant turkeys ran out of the farm, trampling the farmer. "Owieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee..."  
  
Uh oh! Major trouble now! What was that ooze? What does Cobra want with it? And what are the mutant turkeys up to? Find out in the next chapter! 


	3. Some more Insanity!

Thanksgiving Madness!  
  
Wow! I got 63 reviews for "Hotter than Hellion"! Incredible! A new record! WHOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YEAH!!!!!!! I hope this story'll get me over 70!  
  
To Red Witch: Yup, mutant turkeys. I watch too much South Park.  
  
To Sparky Genocide: Thanks for the info on Gnawgahyde! I remember this one episode of GI Joe with Matt Burke, Kurt's dad in the Misfit-verse. The episode featured a green-haired Dreadnok. It wasn't Zanya. Who was it, because I have no clue of the whole Dreadnok roster. Maybe I will have an episode with Leathersuit.  
  
To Wizard1: Yup, Foxfire's quite a character! I thought it would be funny if Jake was paired with Airtight. Besides, I figured the guy could use an assistant. BTW, Kitty's gotta need glasses if she thinks mutated turkeys are cute.  
  
To RogueFanKC: Actually, I was inspired by a Thanksgiving episode of South Park, one of my favorite shows. In the episode, a Marlon Brando-wannabe named Dr. Mephisto created genetically-engineered superturkeys, but they went wild and started killing people.  
  
Chapter 3: Some more Insanity!!  
  
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"Hey guys, guess what I got!" Paul waved a videotape in the air happily as he ran into the courtyard, where most of the mutants were hanging out. "I got a tape from Cousin Ace! Back home in LA!" Ace had left the Hellions as well as Jake and Fox. Since he revealed his true allegiance to the Hellions, Fury couldn't use him as a spy anymore. As a result, Ace was sent home back to LA, where he was just your average feral Beverly Hills native.  
  
"Didn't X23 go there with him?" Jean remembered.  
  
"Yeah. Ace wanted to show her the world beyond the lab. Why LA?" Logan wondered.  
  
"You find a lot of wild and wacky things in LA." Paul grinned. "Especially in Hollywood, my old stomping grounds."  
  
"There's also a lot of psychos, sleazebags, and criminals in LA." Craig remembered. "I should know."  
  
"Yeah, bring the TV out, guys!" Paul waved. Blob and Peter lugged out a big screen TV with a VCR. "Hee hee!" Paul put the tape in, but he was interrupted. CRASH!!!!! Scott Summers was thrown through the glass doors.  
  
"Aie!!!" Scott screamed. Kid Razor walked through the hole, with his trademark smirk. He seemed to have gained a modified costume: His tights were black with gold-and-silver razor blades with matching face paint, white boots with gold-and-black fringe, an AC/DC t-shirt, black biker gloves, gold wrist bands with silver lightning bolts, and a black-and-gold lightning-bolt jagged sash going from his right shoulder to just above his left thigh, with silver studs. His guitar was now a black 1976 Gibson Explorer, decorated with a silver fretboard, pickups and whammy bar, and the black parts of the guitar were decorated with golden lightning bolts.  
  
"Did we miss the party?" Razor smirked. Greer, Thor, and Clint were with him. "The Kid of Rock hates it when he misses a party."  
  
"Where's Jennifer?" Roberto wondered. His question was answered several seconds later.  
  
"HELP ME!!!" A Boston-accented voice yelled. Jake Wildfire, the raging Red Dragon, ran by, being chased by Jennifer. "GET HER AWAY FROM ME!!!!"  
  
"JOIN THE CLUB!!!!" Barbecue screamed as he ran by, Lionheart hot on his heels. John watched, then chased Lionheart.  
  
"Bad kitty woman!! Bad!! Bad!!!" John yelled as he pursued them.  
  
"Anyway, let's see the tape!" Paul grinned. On it, Ace said hello, and introduced the mutants and Avengers to his friends, who also happened to be his bandmates in a local band known as the Ballroom Blitzers, a rock band who did original songs as well as covers of 70s and 80s rock classics: Bassist Randy Chang, who looked like an Asian-American version of Havok. He was the ultimate surfer bum. Guitarist Mandy Randall, who's blond hair reminded the gang of Farrah Fawcett's 70s hairdo, only shorter. She always wore a cheesecutter hat with a big feather in it. Drummer Michael "Micky" Alexander was an African-American girl who bore a slight resemblance to Janet Jackson. She dressed like a 80s rocker, and she had a nose ring that was connected to a gold spike earring on her right ear with a gold chain. Keyboardist Eddie Ulrich was a brown-haired rich kid who believed he was Marc Bolan of T. Rex reincarnated, as evidenced by his glam-rock clothes. The tape also showed X23. She looked a little different, with her hair in a ponytail. She still wore black, as evidenced by the black Hollywood t-shirt and black slacks.  
  
"She's mellowed out." Scott observed. X23 was sitting on the couch, sipping soda out of a can, watching TV. The cameraman (Ace) went in front of the TV. X23 glared, unsheathed her claws, and angrily swiped them at Ace. He barely dodged with the camera intact.  
  
"Not by much." Logan snickered.  
  
{I can't believe a living weapon like X23 would hang around a bunch like Ace's crew.} Craig shook his head.  
  
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(Cobra Headquarters, location unknown)  
  
"DESTROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!" Dr. Mindebender roared angrily. Destro was in Mindbender's lab. "One of the canisters of the mutagen is gone!"  
  
"Why do you need that blue ooze?" The metal-masked man groaned.  
  
"I need that 'ooze' to make my ultimate creation!" Mindbender grinned proudly. "Cobra Commander's gonna be so proud of me!"  
  
{Oh this I have got to see.} Destro shook his head. Mindbender unveiled his "work-in-progress", and Destro nearly puked. "Yuck." He said.  
  
"Nice, huh? I need that mutagen! Where'd it go?!" Mindbender started ranting and raving. Destro decided to leave.  
  
{I need to use the bathroom.} The metal-masked man thought to himself. He went to the men's room. When he opened the door, he retched. "Aw c'mon! For the love of Pete, boy! Put your pants back on and do that somewhere else!"  
  
"DOESN'T ANYONE BLOODY KNOCK AROUND HERE?!?!" Virus roared angrily.  
  
"Get out of here, you disgusting pig!" Destro snapped. A grumbling Virus pulled up his pants and grabbed his picture of Althea.  
  
"At least I don't have a face like a pig!" Virus snapped as he walked away.  
  
"I do not wear this because I'm ashamed of my face!" Destro roared, pointing at his mask.  
  
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"Okay, you guys." Scott said. He and the X-Boys had set up a huge slingshot. "Peter puts the boulder on the slingshot, then we fire it at Paul."  
  
"Dis gonna go bad." Remy shook his head.  
  
"This'll work! Relax!" Ray said.  
  
"Okay, here he comes!" Scott said. Paul was walking by, and the X-Boys aimed the boulder-carrying slingshot. "Fire!" Scott fired the catapult, but as usual, something went wrong. Jake ran in front of Paul, Jennifer hot on his heels. The boulder flew into the air, and it landed on Jen, shattering on impact with her gamma-strengthened body.  
  
"OWWWW!!!!" Jen screamed, clutching her head. "WHO THREW THAT?!?!"  
  
"Uh-oh." The X-Boys' faces paled.  
  
"Jen, are you okay?" Paul and Jake asked with some concern.  
  
"I will be as soon as I find the punk who threw that!" Jen said. She noticed the X-Boys. "I should have known." She angrily stomped toward them. "Didn't learn your lesson last time, huh boys?!"  
  
"Oh shoot." Peter squeaked.  
  
"Mommy." Scott whimpered. Several seconds later...  
  
"OWWWWWWWWWWCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
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Duncan Matthews drove down a road in his newly-repainted car.  
  
"Ahh, what a great day." Duncan smiled as he drove his car. "No mutants around to ruin what the?" He stopped when he noticed a huge turkey print. "Okay Duncan. It's just a prank." He heard gobbling. "Huh?" He turned around and his eyes widened. A whole gaggle of mutant turkeys was racing towards him! "WAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!! GIANT EVIL TURKEYS!!!!!" He gunned his engine, driving off at incredible speed. However, the turkeys were much too fast. It seemed as if they didn't notice him. The turkeys trampled over Duncan and his car. "HEY!!!! OWWWW!!! WATCH IT!!!! THAT HURTS!!!! AIEEEEEEEEE!!!!"  
  
Man, Duncan never gets a break! Anyway, what'll happen next? Will the turkeys attack Bayville? Will everything get blown up? Will the X-Boys get sent back to the hospital? Find out in the next exciting chapter!!! 


	4. Talks and Turkey Attacks!

Thanksgiving Madness!  
  
To Red Witch: Oh, the turkey rampage shall commence! I think Kelly's no stranger to being laughed out of the Senate (Kelly: SCREW YOU, L17!!! SCREW YOU AND THE FANCY HORSE YOU RODE IN ON!!!).  
  
To Sparky Genocide: Thanks for the info, man! I really appreciate it!  
  
To Wizard1: I dunno about the Ace interaction. I'm glad you liked seeing X23 with the Ballroom Blitzers. Maybe I'll bring Ace into another story. I didn't know Kitty needed glasses in the comics. But then again, I only read three X-Men comics in my life, so there. I think one of them had Arcade.  
  
Chapter 4: Talks and Turkey Attacks!  
  
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"So Paul, tell me about yourself." Dani said, her arms wrapped around Paul's arm. They were walking down a street in Bayville.  
  
"Hey Starchild! You the man!" A couple guys hooted as he passed. Paul gave them hi-fives.  
  
"Well, I'm just your average Los Angeles native." Paul grinned. "Hollywood to be exact. That's right, yours truly grew up in the home of movie stars, swimming pools, and limousines. I was adopted by a rich family. My mom was an actress. She did some bit parts in TV, movies, and commercials. She also did a bit of modeling. My dad was a record executive. He also owned a toy store." Paul looked up with a smile. "My fondest memory was when I was four. It was Halloween. My mom dressed me up as Ace Frehley. I remember going down the street in my costume, complete with blue chest plate and silver cape, holding my mom's hand. I even had on a brown wig and the makeup of the Celestial. They thought I was the cutest thing."  
  
"So, where are your parents?" Dani asked. Paul drooped his head.  
  
"Well, I don't know who my real parents are. I was adopted as a baby." Paul said. "The people I considered are now dead. It happened shortly after my powers emerged. I was thirteen. My parents were attacked and killed by members of a street gang. There was a bit of irony in it. The punks that killed my parents were members of a gang that was feuding with a street gang my twin brother Craig was a member of. An executive in my dad's company screwed me out of any inheritance and forced me out on the streets. I stayed with my friend Jennifer for a while. Then I discovered my telepathic link with my brother. I felt an instinct, an urge to find him. So I left and went into the streets to find him. I did find him, living in an abandoned movie studio. He didn't too kindly to me at first. Thanks to me, he saw memories of growing up a rich kid. And the link allowed me to read his mind. Growing up on the streets with a hateful father and a subservient mother. It was tough for him." Paul sighed.  
  
"Craig did warm up to you, didn't he?" Dani asked.  
  
"Yeah, but he really doesn't show it. He keeps everything inside. He doesn't show much emotion even when he's happy. Just the way he is, I guess." Paul shrugged. He and Dani were crossing the street when... "Whoa! Dani, watch out!" Paul grabbed Moonstar and pulled her out of the way. A screaming Duncan drove by.  
  
"TURKEYS!!!! EVIL TURKEYS!!!! THE TURKEYS ARE COMING!!! THE TURKEYS ARE COMING!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!"  
  
"Who was THAT?!" Dani screamed with a pant.  
  
"Duncan Matthews. He's the town psychotic." Paul grinned. "For some reason, he don't like mutants. Maybe he's jealous of us or something." Dani blinked at that.  
  
"Jealous of having powers?" Dani said.  
  
"Yeah." Paul nodded. "There are a lot of guys out there who are jealous of me."  
  
"What I can't believe is that one of your childhood friends is an Avenger." Dani said.  
  
"Yeah. I knew Jenny ever since we were kids." Paul grinned. "Jenny wasn't born with her green skin and hair. Nor was she born with any super strength. She actually has no X-Gene. She was actually just a plain old sheriff's daughter. Her old man hates me for some reason."  
  
"I don't see why. You're a super-sweetheart!" Dani cooed.  
  
"He claims John and I blew up his car. That was an accident. John set fire to his pants and chair once. I accidentally made a hidden bomb in a pie explode at a policeman's ball. I did prevent anyone from getting hurt, though." Paul laughed. "For some reason, her old man got mad at me and John and tried to run us over."  
  
"What about her mother?"  
  
"Aw, Mrs. Walters adored us. She always made cookies for us. She was so nice." Paul smiled. "I wonder how she's doing. Anyway, I thought for the longest time that Craig was the only real family I had." Paul snickered. "Until I met my cousin Ace."  
  
"The guy on the tape." Dani remembered.  
  
"Yeah. He was spying on the Hellions. After we rescued Red Dragon from the Hellions, Ace left, and returned to LA. Before he went back home, he stayed with me and Craig for a while, and we got to know each other. Ace told me I have a wacky family over in Great Britain, including this secret agent who dresses even further backwards than I or Ace do." Paul laughed. "Craig couldn't believe it. Maybe I'll introduce you if he ever visits me again." He and Dani heard another scream. They saw Duncan run down the street, chased by a whole bunch of cops.  
  
"WHAT'D I DO?!?! WHAT'D I DO?!?!" Duncan screamed.  
  
"Come back here, boy! Run your car through our station, huh boy?" The chief called. Paul sighed.  
  
"Poor Duncan. That guy's been jinxed since day one." Paul laughed. He then heard gobbling. "What the--?" He and Danielle turned around and saw a bunch of huge giant turkeys. "FLAMING FREHLEY'S COMET!!!!!"  
  
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Amara walked by a tree, when she saw John do something rather unusual: The insane Aussie was sitting in front of the tree, but he wasn't setting a fire. Instead, he had a laptop on his lap, and he was typing happily.  
  
"St. John Allerdyce, not setting a fire. Now that's a shocking sight." Amara laughed. John rolled his eyes.  
  
"Even I have my hobbies, Sheila." John said.  
  
"My name is Amara, goofball." Amara crossed her arms. John groaned.  
  
"I'm Australian, mate. Australians traditionally call girls "Sheila"." John groaned.  
  
"Whatever." Amara waved. "What are you doing?"  
  
"Writing." Pyro grinned crazily. "I like to write. I want to study journalism someday." Amara laughed.  
  
"You, a reporter? Please." Amara waved. "You'd be trying to set fire to all your subjects. Not to mention you think that Sally Struthers is out to kill you, and you believe there are fairies in the dryer that steal socks."  
  
"I've seen 'em, mate! They're real! They're annoying little pests! I have practically no left socks thanks to those jerks! And Sally Struthers is out to experiment on me!"  
  
"Right, John." Amara shook her head. "What are you writing?"  
  
"The great American novel." John laughed in his trademark cackle. "It's about these four high school students who go on a road trip, and the crazy truant officer/preacher who tries to catch 'em, but ends up getting hurt all the time! It's so funny!! WHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!" Amara peeked at the screen. She started snickering. "Do you read romance novels?"  
  
"Why do you ask?" John asked.  
  
"Because I think you like those trashy ones." Amara laughed. "I smell a bit of trashy romance novel in it."  
  
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{I can't believe I'm doing this} Senator Kelly groaned to himself. He was dressed in a turkey costume. {Just to help a bunch of goofy kids} The bigot was in a turkey costume for a reason: He was with a bunch of kids, raising money for charity by doing a dance in turkey costumes. A small crowd had gathered. Until one woman started screaming.  
  
"TURKEYS!!!!"  
  
{What do you expect, lady? We're not wearing cowboy outfits here.} Kelly mentally grumbled as he danced. People screamed and ran away as the giant turkeys raced into town. "OH MY GOD!!!" The kids ran off, clad in their turkey costumes. Before Kelly ran, one of the turkeys laid eyes on Kelly and its eyes turned into hearts, like in a Japanese cartoon. "Oh no. OH NO!!!! WAHHHH!!!!!!! HELP ME!!! HEEEEEEEEEELP MEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Kelly ran off, the amorous turkey after him. Kelly screamed and ran as fast as his skinny legs could carry him. Until he tripped. "WHOAAAA OWWWWW!!!" Kelly struggled to get up, lying flat on his stomach. The love-struck turkey caught up with the hapless senator. "No! No! Stay back! Bad turkey! Stay back! OH MY GOD AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Man, Kelly attracts the wrong people! (Kelly: Someone call the Special Victims Unit!) Anyway, what'll happen next? What'll the turkeys do? Who will save the day? What'll Cobra do about the turkeys? Will Kitty adopt the turkeys? (Turkeys: GOBBLE!!! (AW HECK NAW!!!)) Find out in the next exciting chapter! 


	5. More Madness!

Thanksgiving Madness!  
  
To silvers: Glad to meet you! I heard you have me on your favorites list! Awesome! About Ace, Paul and Craig: It's really just an assumption. Ace claims to be their cousin, and since Paul and Craig want to know who their family is, they assume that Ace is their cousin.  
  
To Wizard1: It is possible that John and Paul know of Bruce Banner. And knowing those two, it's probably how Sheriff Walters' car exploded. Maybe Ace never got around to telling Paul and Craig about his family. I definitely want to shed more light on the mystery of the Starr Family. (Kid Razor: *reading one of Wizard1's reviews for "Hotter than Hellion"*: You gotta be kidding! The Kid of Rock gets away with insulting people like the Hellfire Club all the time! It's my job!)  
  
To RogueFanKC: Yup, Kelly got assaulted by a turkey! I like the weird blessings. The kitchen won't survive this, that's for certain.  
  
To Aaron: Yeah, I think the She-Hulk might have thing for the Red Dragon. I own the first South Park game for Nintendo 64. I love playing it, and I also like blasting Cartman.  
  
To Sparky Genocide: Yeah, the X-Girls get very jealous! I plan to do a fic where the Misfits go to England alongside Wildstar and meet Ace's famous uncle: A certain 60s-dressing swinging secret agent.  
  
To torque: Yeah, those Cobras aren't too smart, are they? The curse of being a terrorist organization determined to rule the world.  
  
To Captain Marvel: Thanks for the suggestion. I may do the X23/Todd/Althea thing in another fic.  
  
To Red Witch: Glad you loved the turkey torture to Kelly! (Kelly: Oh my God, I was so violated) Here's some more for you!  
  
Chapter 5: More Madness!  
  
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"And in other news." A picture of a turkey appeared on the television screen. "GIANT TURKEYS ARE ATTACKING BAYVILLE!!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!" There was a pause for a second. "And in other news, Senator Robert Kelly was carted off by a bunch of guys in white coats. He claimed he was assaulted by one of these mutant turkeys. Whether he plans to campaign against them remains unknown. GIANT EVIL TURKEYS!!!! RUN FOR IT!!!" Jamie Madrox turned off the television.  
  
"Oh please." He huffed. "Giant mutant turkeys. Those newscasters are becoming less and less credible every single freakin' day." He heard a door slam, and Paul and Dani ran in. They were panting, and Paul was clutching his chest. "You two had fun?" Jamie snickered.  
  
"James, you are NOT gonna believe it!" Paul replied.  
  
"THOR, THAT HURTS!!! OWWWWW!!!! WHY DO YOU KEEP HITTING ME WITH THAT HAMMER?!?!" Ray screamed as he ran by, Thor in hot pursuit.  
  
"Anyway, we saw something incredible!" Paul continued.  
  
"Turkeys! Giant mutant turkeys!" Dani exclaimed. "Paul saved me!" She hugged Starchild. Jamie rolled his eyes. He then noticed Wolverine trying to get Tigra off him, accompanied by a laughing Jinx.  
  
"PUPPY!!!" Tigra squealed.  
  
"Get off me, you striped half-cat nutball!" Logan roared. "What are you made of, Krazy Glue!?!?!"  
  
"Jinx, you have a cute puppy!" Tigra grinned.  
  
"I AM NOT A PUPPY!!!!" Logan yelled.  
  
"Awwww Wolvie, you're just a puppy at heart, and you know it!" Jinx laughed.  
  
"Now don't you start!" Logan groaned at Jinx. Jamie sighed.  
  
"Did those performance enhancer mess up her brain chemistry too?" Jamie groaned. "I'm the only sane person in this building!" He then noticed Scott, trying to get Toothy off him, and Jake was trying to help him. "Well, except for Jake. What was that about turkeys?"  
  
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"WHAT?!?!?!" Cobra Commander roared at the news. Dr. Mindbender, the Baroness and Destro were in the Commander's throne room. "Cobra's precious mutagen was ingested by a group of TURKEYS?!?!"  
  
"Unfortunately, that's the case Commander." Destro grumbled. "Those drivers were too busy discussing some robot versions of Pokemon!"  
  
"Commander, maybe we can use those turkeys for ourselves." Baroness suggested. "We should capture them and control them!"  
  
"That seems like an idea." Cobra Commander nodded, grinning underneath his metal faceplate.  
  
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"We are Scotsmen, hey! We are Scotsmen, hey!" Iron Man and Beast sang.  
  
"Will you two knuckleheads quit dancing in the kitchen?! You two are knocking everything over!!!" Storm snapped. "Hank! Quit swinging those bagpipes!" Shipwreck walked in with a snicker.  
  
"Hey Ororo."  
  
"Oh great. The idiots are breeding." Storm groaned.  
  
"What's up?"  
  
"Rob Roy and William Wallace over there have just become the Scottish version of Laurel and Hardy!" Ororo grumbled, pointing to the two Scotsmen. Shipwreck had an evil idea as he saw Bulldog snooze on a couch.  
  
"Hey fellas! There's an Englishman over there!" Shipwreck grinned, pointing at a sleeping Bulldog. Tony and Hank unsheathed swords.  
  
"FOR THE GLORY OF SCOTLAND!!!!" They crowed, running into the room.  
  
"HEY WHAT OWWWW!!!! WHAT THE?!?! YIPE!!!! OWWW!!!! HEY WATCH THAT SWORD!!!!" Bulldog cried as the Scotsmen ganged up on him. Shipwreck laughed happily, finally getting one over on the English Joe. He turned to Storm triumphantly, but she was none too happy. "Uh oh. YEEEEEEEEEEEOWWWWWWWWWWWWCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Shipwreck got fried. A charred mess, he staggered into the room, only to get caught by an enraged Bulldog.  
  
"Hello Shipwreck."  
  
"HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
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"No! No! No!" Duncan Matthews screamed as the cops threw him into the jail. "Do you know who I am?! I'm important! My dad'll make you clowns do beats for the rest of your lives!" The football player heard snickering, like a huge man. He turned around. "No! No!" Duncan flattened himself against the wall. "No! Stay Back! Stay back! No! NO!!! OH MY GOD AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Two cops overheard the screaming.  
  
"Did we just throw him in the cell with Bubba?" The first cop asked the second, pointing at the cell with his thumb. The second cop shrugged.  
  
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"Yeah right, Jamie!" Scott laughed. "Giant Turkeys in Bayville! Please!"  
  
"I saw it on the news, nerd-boy!" Jamie snapped, finally losing his patience. Scott glared.  
  
"Look Madrox, I've had enough with Foxfire, Avalanche, and Kid Razor making fun of me all the time!" Scott snapped.  
  
"Not my problem." Jamie huffed, walking away. He then heard screams. "Aw no, the girls are catfighting again!" Xavier wheeled up to Scott.  
  
"Is something wrong?"  
  
"Besides hoping that Alvers, Razor, and Jason Fox all drop dead, nothing really." Scott sighed.  
  
"Hey Chromedome! You are not gonna believe this." Kid Razor ran up to the two. He then looked at Scott. "Who are you?"  
  
"You know me! I'm - " Scott snapped.  
  
"IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOUR NAME IS!!!!" Razor snapped in Scott's face. "Anyway, there are mutant turkeys in Bayville!"  
  
Looks like the X-Men, Misfits, and Avengers meet the Turkeys! What'll happen next? Will the X-Girls ever stop fighting? What happened to Duncan? (Duncan: Somebody call the Special Victims Unit!) What's Cobra up to? Find out in the next chapter!! 


	6. Here we go again!

Thanksgiving Madness!  
  
To Red Witch: I would certainly not be surprised. BTW, I plan to bring in Wolfsbane and Siryn for my Christmas fic!  
  
To Tyripticon: Well, the reason why those four get tortured a lot is because of Paul. The X-Girls are all madly in love with the mutant superstar, and the boys are jealous. Fate loves Starchild, and any attempt they make at humiliating him gets blown up in their faces!  
  
To Sparky Genocide: Oh, the Dreadnoks will appear! (Tony and Hank: Bring them on! We shall slay those curs! FOR SCOTLAND!!!)  
  
To Wizard1: A lot of insanity for one chapter, huh? *Grins* I do my best. Yup, Duncan's stuck with Bubba. (Duncan: OH GOD HELP ME!!!!)  
  
To torque: I would not be surprised if someone does have an insurance policy on Scotty. Dani and Paul together? Who knows. Oh, Dani will get Fox.  
  
To JCKIDSMART: WHERE YOU BEEN?!?  
  
Sorry I'm late, folks! Had to get the ol' laptop fixed.  
  
Chapter 6: Here we go again!  
  
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Jamie hummed happily as he sat on a chair in one of his well-known suits, counting some money. Scott noticed.  
  
"Where'd you get that cash?" Scott wondered. Jamie grinned.  
  
"I took out an insurance policy on you. They keep paying me the more Jean slaps you around. I've made a thousand bucks in a week!" Jamie laughed. Scott grimaced.  
  
"You are as bad as Kid Razor." Scott grumbled. He then heard playing and stomping and singing on the roof. "Now what?"  
  
"My boys are practicing for the Thanksgiving Day Parade." Jamie laughed. "Don't you remember?"  
  
"You think this town would learn after Halloween." Scott sighed as he walked outside. He noticed the X-Girls staring at the roof, sighing happily. "Fantastic." He noticed Razor and the Superstars were jamming on the roof. They finished with a huge cymbal crash from John.  
  
"We love you Bayville!" Paul screamed into his mike, being answered by the girls' screaming and hooting. "Huh?" Paul and the others noticed a blue car, a Ferrari to be exact, pull up in the middle of the front yard. The Sweet song "Ballroom Blitz" blared from the speakers. Paul smiled.  
  
"Hey guys! It's Ace!" Paul said.  
  
"You mean our cat-like cousin?" Craig asked. Ace leapt out of the car, standing on the roof. He immediately assumed a dynamic pose.  
  
"ALOHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA DUDES AND DUDETTES!!!!" Ace grinned.  
  
"Alright! Ace is here!" John grinned.  
  
"What are you doing here, Wildstar?" Lance wondered.  
  
"Another one. Great." Scott grumbled. Ace slid down the hood, to the ground. The side door opened, revealing X23. She was clad in a yellow t- shirt, blue jeans, and black sneakers. She also had on a black leather jacket with yellow sleeves with blue slashmarks running down the sides. Her brownish hair was in a ponytail.  
  
"Ace, you need to grow up." X23 sighed. She glared at the X-Girls. "What are you looking at?"  
  
"Uhmmm...We're gonna help cook Thanksgiving dinner." Jean said nervously. She and the other five X-Girls left.  
  
"Is X23 your girlfriend?" John laughed.  
  
"Can I kill him?" X23 asked Ace, pointing at John, who was climbing down the wall alongside the other Superstars. Ace snickered.  
  
"Nah." Ace said with a smile. "We ain't datin'."  
  
"You!" Jamie walked towards Ace with a purpose, snapping his fingers and pointing. "You! Ace Starr! We need to talk!" Ace laughed, and X23 raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Who are you?" Ace wondered.  
  
"James Madrox, talent manager." Jamie gave Ace a card. "Now I have gotten word that you have a band."  
  
"He does." X23 said. "I'm not in it, but I do know them. I live with Ace and his family. His father is a stockbroker who once roadied for many rock bands. His mother was a groupie he met at a Stones tour." X23 sighed. "Thanks to Ace, they keep calling me 'Athena'!" The Wolverine clone grumbled.  
  
"I think it's appropriate." Lance snickered. "Athena is a goddess of war. And you were created to fight."  
  
"I get the joke." X23 groaned. She noticed Bulldog run outside.  
  
"Hey kids! The Professor needs you!"  
  
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"Gubba gubba bubba..." A voice mumbled. It was Duncan Matthews, being carted into an ambulance. He was stiff, his hair was on end, his skin was ghostly white, and his eyes were frozen in shock. "Gobble gobble..."  
  
"Man, what happened to this guy?" One of the EMTs asked the cops. The cops looked at each other.  
  
"Bubba." They replied.  
  
"Who's Bubba?" The other EMT asked. They heard a hick-like snicker from the cell.  
  
"Uh huh huh huh heh heh heh heh hee hee hee hee hee hee..." Duncan shot up, screaming.  
  
"AHHHHHHHH!!!!! AHHHHHHHH!!!!!! NO!!!!!! NO NO NO!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOO!!!!! OH MY GOD OH MY GOD NO AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" Duncan continued screaming after they restrained him and threw him into the ambulance. "HELP MEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" He freaked out, causing the ambulance to tip over on its side as it left. "Ow."  
  
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"I have heard reports of giant mutated turkeys." Xavier said. The X-Men, Misfits, Avengers, and Joes were gathered in the Common Room. "I thought it was unfounded until Jamie brought the news to my attention."  
  
"Told you guys." Jamie bragged.  
  
"Let me guess." Lionheart snickered. "We gotta corral those turkeys."  
  
"Ah say, pilgrim." Paul said, impersonating John Wayne. "I never did trust a turkey that didn't drink. And those turkeys seem as sober as priests on Sunday." Wolverine chuckled.  
  
"Gotta agree with you, kid."  
  
"Well, you turkeys could use a couple turkeys for Thanksgiving." Razor laughed. "I reckon three of those overgrown pillows for a dinner worthy of the Kid of Rock and his noble allies in the fight against evil."  
  
"Your mouth and ego gets bigger every day." Jennifer sighed.  
  
"I wanna see the parade!" Greer squealed. "Balloons, parties, and music! Yay!"  
  
"If we don't stop those chickens, there won't be a parade!" Hawkeye realized. "Oh my God! That means no more hot babes in skimpy pilgrim costumes!"  
  
"Oh dear God, you're right!" Razor realized in shock. "Holy AC/DC!!! We gotta stop those turkeys!!!" Kid "Rock 'n' Roll" Razor and Hawkeye took off like shots, racing out the door.  
  
Well, Kid Razor and Hawkeye are ready and willing to go after the turkeys! What'll happen next? How will Cobra react? How will our resident Scotsmen react? Will Duncan get blown to bits? Will Kelly get assaulted by any other creatures? (Kelly: OH GOD HELP ME!!!) Find out in the next chapter! 


	7. The Meeting with the Turkeys!

Thanksgiving Madness  
  
To Wizard1: Yeah, that Hawkeye and Razor! Those two will always be kids at heart, and they are more girl-crazy than the average horndogs! Knowing Scott and Jean, Jamie's going to collect a lot of money! I don't plan for Ace and X23 to get together.  
  
To Red Witch: Here's some more madness for ya!  
  
To JCKIDSMART: I'll try. I already have a lot going on in this fic. I used to be in an after-school program myself when I was a kid. It was for kids who wanted to be astronauts. I was, and still am, a bit of a space nut.  
  
To torque: Yup, I got your review. That's happened to me. Yup, Jamie's smarter than the average clone-making mutant. No, Xavier isn't English. According to my X-Men guide book, Xavier was born in New York. You want an Irishman? I'll get you an Irishman! In my Christmas fic, I plan to bring in Banshee and his daughter Siryn. How's that? Who will carve the turkey? Well, we'll find out! You shouldn't be concerned about the whole Scottish thing with Hank and Tony. It's just for laughs.  
  
To Sparky Genocide: Hey, Paul's an entertainer by nature! He'll find a way to make you laugh. And now, entering the fic, from Cobra Island, at 5'12" weighing in at 275 pounds, LEATHERSUUUUUUUUUIT!!!!!!!!!  
  
Anything between the equal signs is a flashback.  
  
Chapter 7: The Meeting with the Turkeys!  
  
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"Oh my God." Senator Kelly limped down a street. His costume was in tatters. "That was horrible. So horrible. I'm gonna need therapy for a week!" He then heard a noise. "What the-YEOWWW!!!!" A nearby wall exploded, and a turkey flew through it. "HEY!!!" Kid Razor jumped through the hole.  
  
"The only place you belong is in the Kid of Rock's sandwich!" Razor taunted, angering the turkey. Razor gave Kelly a quick punch in the face. "That's for making up stuff about me!"  
  
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"I hope this new guy isn't going to be a pain." Zartan grumbled as the Dreadnoks rolled into town. He was pointing at a big, muscular teenager. The teen had long wild black hair, tied in a messy ponytail, and streaked with green. His skin was covered in dark green scales, and his eyes were yellow. He did have a human flat face. His grin revealed that most of his teeth were sharp. His fingernails were sharp, like claws. He wore nothing on his upper body but a black sleeveless leather jacket, with studs lining it. His wrists were wrapped with blue wristbands, he wore black fingerless gloves, he had red ribbons tied around his biceps, and he had on odd pants that looked like he stitched together a pair of black wrestling tights and blue jeans. Sticking out of his jeans was an alligator-esque tail. He also had on white wrestling boots. "You heard me, Leathersuit!"  
  
"You want pain, Zartan?" The alligator-like teen laughed. "I'll give ya pain! Just like I deal in the ring!"  
  
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"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" Cobra Commander screamed, pounding his fists on the mat. He was trapped in a wrestling ring with Leathersuit, and the alligator-like teenager had the terrorist leader in a Kurt Angle-like ankle lock, laughing like crazy. "HELP ME!!!! DESTRO!!!! BARONESS!!! SOMEBODY!!!"  
  
"Would you like some more popcorn?" Destro offered, holding out some popcorn to the Baroness.  
  
"Thank you, darling." The Baroness took a handful of popcorn. The Dradnoks were watching as well, laughing their heads off.  
  
"WHO DA MAN?!?!?!? WHO DA MAAAAAAANNNNNN!!!!!!" Leathersuit screamed insanely.  
  
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"Leathersuit, what's up?" Virus wondered.  
  
"I was just remembering." The alligator-like teen glared. "Remembering when I met the legendary Eric "Blazer" Wildfire. I wanted to train at his wrestling school. But he said I take it too far. That old fool! I HATE THE BLAZER!!!!" Leathersuit screamed.  
  
"You know, he has two sons. One of them's a Misfit."  
  
"Yeah, I met Jake. I'm gonna punk him out. I'm gonna make him face me in the ring. And I'm gonna whoop 'im."  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
"Not exactly the little team I had in mind." Barbecue said to himself. "Three ferals and a pyromaniac. Hey, that sounds like the name for an 80s comedy." Barbecue chuckled. He was with Ace, X23, Pyro, and Tigra.  
  
"Uhmmm, Barbecue? Can I ask you something?" Tigra fidgeted nervously. The five were checking a street. "I don't eat turkeys. Would I be offending anyone if I said so at the table?"  
  
"You?" John laughed. "No offense cat-Sheila, but you were eyeing tuna fish very hungrily when I saw you in the kitchen. Your tail was twitching like crazy."  
  
"I can't help it!" Tigra whined. "Ever since the accident, I've always had a craving for tuna fish."  
  
"This conversation is completely stupid." X23 groaned. She then smelled something. "I smell turkey. Rotten Turkey."  
  
"I smell turkey too." Ace sniffed the air. "I am kinda hungry. I wonder what ol' Stormy will whip up for dinner." Wildstar licked his lips.  
  
"Are food, girls, and parties all you think about?!" X23 snapped.  
  
"Cut me some slack, babe!" Ace grinned, putting up his hands in self- defense.  
  
"And stop calling me that!!" X23 hollered. She was quieted by a scream.  
  
"AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" A bunch of Bayville High football players ran out of a pool hall. Following them was a group of angry-looking mutant turkeys. However, the rampaging turkeys seemed to have developed powers. One spat out flames, another had ice breath, a third had metal-tipped wings and tail feathers, a fourth turkey had a rocky body much like the Thing, and a fifth seemed to have a big head.  
  
"O-kay. I think we're in trouble." Barbecue put down his visor.  
  
"Let's set 'em on fire!" John happily leapt into action, flamethrowers at the ready.  
  
"Pyro, no!" Barbecue called.  
  
"Hey turkeys! Eat flames! WHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!!" John fired a couple flame blasts. The metal-feathered turkey knocked the fireballs away, causing them to set the football team's butts on fire. The geniuses ran around, knocking into each other in a panic.  
  
"Hoo boy." John gulped.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
Foxfire, Moonstar, Red Dragon, Storm, Bulldog, and Logan were checking out another street.  
  
"Foxfire, wake up!" Dani snapped. The Detroit native had laid back against the wall and fallen asleep. "Alright, that's it!" Dani angrily used her powers on Fox.  
  
"AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" Foxfire screamed, clutching his head as he shot awake. "NO!!! Not the Liberace dream! AW GOD NO!! Aw man, that was horrible!!" Storm shook her head.  
  
{I do not want to know} She said to herself.  
  
"Hey, what's going on in there?" Bulldog pointed at a tavern. There was quite a ruckus there.  
  
"Let's check it out." Logan said.  
  
"Yipe!" Jake dodged a blur trying to clothesline him from behind. "Hey!" Leathersuit smirked at Jake.  
  
"Hey dork. Remember me?" Leathersuit grinned.  
  
"Garrett?" Jake realized.  
  
"They call me Leathersuit now, boy! I'm gonna whoop you, then whoop your old man!" Leathersuit snickered.  
  
Uh oh! More trouble! What'll happen next? Will Leathersuit and Red Dragon duke it out? Will the heroes be able to stop the turkeys? Will Kitty get eaten by the turkeys? (Kitty: AW COME ON!!!) Will the football team get blown up? Find out in the next exciting chapter! 


	8. Battle with the Dreadnoks and the Turkey...

Thanksgiving Madness!  
  
To Red Witch: X-Turkeys. I suppose you could call 'em that. I guess the mutagen gave each specific turkey a specific mutation. Odd, but neat at the same time.  
  
To JCKIDSMART: Sorry about sounding cliché! I thought nothing like that happened before. BTW, what's Wu Shu? Is that some kind of martial art?  
  
To RogueFanKC: Nice to see you again! How does Jake and Leathersuit know each other? Well, we'll find out!  
  
To Sparky Genocide: Glad you liked my portrayal of Leathersuit. He's a good one. (Leathersuit: PAAAAAAAAAAIIIIINNNNNNN!!!!!) That's an unusual suggestion you got there.  
  
To Wizard1: Well, Hawkeye doesn't have a stalker. Yet. (Razor: Lucky bum! *looks behind him* Aw shoot! *Runs off, Jubilee chasing him* HELP THE KID OF ROCK!!) Ace can't help calling X23 'babe'. It's an old habit. (X23: Time for him to drop it!) And tell Logan he did say "Daddy's little girl" out loud (Logan: Aw NUTS!!) And speaking of Fox, Moonstar's powers in Evo appear to affect nightmares, and for a guy like Fox, a nightmare for him would have Liberace in it! (Fox: Oh God, don't remind me!)  
  
Chapter 8: Battle with the Dreadnoks and the Turkeys!  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
"Steve Garrett." Jake narrowed his eyes at Leathersuit. "My dad gave you the nickname Leathersuit when you went to his wrestling school to train."  
  
"Yeah, yeah." Leathersuit grumbled. "The dumb name stuck. He kicked me out of the school because I was "too violent"!" Leathersuit grumbled.  
  
"You nearly killed a man, Crocface." Jake glared.  
  
"So how have you been, Jakey? Still having trouble with your...other self?" Leathersuit snickered. Jake smirked.  
  
"Draconis is gone." Jake replied. "It's only me in here." He snickered, pointing to his temple. "I remember the last time we wrestled. I whooped your croc-like tail."  
  
"This time Wildfire, you WILL!! FEEL!! PAAAAAIIIIIIIINNNNNNN!!!!!!!"  
  
"I'll hold off Crocface! You take care of the barfight!" Jake said to the others in his group.  
  
"Are you sure?" Bulldog asked.  
  
"I'm a third-generation wrestler. I'll be fine." Jake laughed. Storm, Logan, Bulldog, Moonstar, and Foxfire left Jake and Leathersuit to settle their business.  
  
"You like street fights, boy? PAIIIIIINNNN!!!!" Leatherneck asked mockingly.  
  
"I've been in a big brawl recently." Jake smirked, remembering his internal battle with Draconis.  
  
"Time for you to feel some PAIIINNNNN!!!!" Leathersuit flexed, then charged. Jake charged with a dragon-like roar. Inside, the group ran into the Dreadnoks.  
  
"Who wants to be shish kabobed first?" Logan grinned evilly, unsheathing his claws with the trademark SNIKT!! Bulldog cricked his neck, Storm's eyes and fists crackled with electricity, and Foxfire's hands went ablaze. However, the Detroit native laid eyes on Zanya.  
  
"Hello..." Fox grinned, turning invisible.  
  
"Fox, where are you?" Moonstar grumbled. Zanya squeaked in shock.  
  
"WHO GOOSED ME?!?!" She roared angrily, making the other Dreadnoks snicker.  
  
"Foxfire, quit it! Now's not the time for this!" Logan snapped, looking in the direction of the invisible Detroit ex-Hellion. Even though Fox's invisibility powers made him undetectable to the naked eye, it did not protect him from Logan's enhanced sense of smell.  
  
"Aw man, I guess I do need to work on my invisiblility." Foxfire snickered as he turned visible. "And I can't help myself. I see a nice booty, and I have to grab it."  
  
"Who is this pervert?" Zanya snarled.  
  
"Jason Fox." Fox bowed. "The ladies call me Foxfire."  
  
"Oh please." Storm rolled her eyes.  
  
"Hey!" Fox snapped.  
  
"Hello Virus." Bulldog grinned evilly. Virus gulped.  
  
"Mommy."  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
"Whoa! Hey! Watch your wing feathers!!" The She-Hulk snapped as a super- strong turkey grabbed her in a bear hug. "I swear, if your wings go anywhere near my butt, I am going to slap the beak right off your turkey face!" Sunspot speared the turkey, making it drop Jennifer.  
  
"Hey! Stay away from my woman!"  
  
"RAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!" Jake flew over them, in his dragon form. He had Leathersuit in a full nelson. They both looked like they went through a brawl. Jake dropped the croc-like teen, causing Leathersuit to fall and smack into the concrete!  
  
"OWWWWWW!!!!!!!" The crocodile-like mutant screamed.  
  
"Nice to see you, Jake." Jenny smirked, blowing Jake a kiss with a wink. The red scales on Jake's cheeks turned redder.  
  
{Aw, give me a break!} Jake mentally groaned.  
  
"YYIIIIIKES!!!!!" Sam streaked by, a turkey with Cannonball powers pursuing him. Pietro was engaged in a super-speed duel with a super-fast turkey. The other mutants and Avengers were brawling with more mutant turkeys.  
  
"I hope no one plans to make turkey for the dinner." Hawkeye grumbled as he nailed a fiery turkey in the butt with a freeze arrow.  
  
"The Kid of Rock says that this is insane!" Kid Razor kicked a stretchy turkey in the face, then pulled the turkey's beak and snapped it back.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
"YIYIYIYIYIYIYIYIYIYIYIOWWWWWWWWWWCH!!!!!!!!" Zanya and Virus screamed as they got zapped by Storm.  
  
"Spiders! Spiders! Get 'em off! Get 'em off!! GET 'EM OFF!!!!!! AAAAHHHHH!!!!!" Zandar screamed as Dani laughed. She used her powers to make Zandar see spiders. Zartan and Wolverine were brawling.  
  
"Get off me, you cow!!" Bulldog growled as Zarana got a headlock on the English Joe. Torch, Buzzsaw, Ripper, and Monkeywrench fired their weapons. Suddenly, Iron Man and Beast charged in. Iron Man's armor was Scottish- themed, and Beast wore a blue kilt.  
  
"We're here to take out some English curs!!!" They called. The good guys gained some evil grins.  
  
"Hey, the Dreadnoks are English." Storm noticed with a snicker. The Beast and Iron Man unsheathed Claymores. Who knows where they got them.  
  
"FOR THE GLORY OF SCOTLAND!!!!!" They cried out, and they ambushed the Dreadnoks. "DEATH TO ALL ENGLISHMEN!!!!" The X-Men watched as the two Scotsmen wailed on the Dreadnoks.  
  
"HEY!!! OW!!! WATCH IT!!!! MY FACE!!! HEY, THAT'S MY EAR!!! WATCH THE HAIR!!!! OH GOD THAT HURTS!!! OWWWWWWWWW!!!!!! HEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"Bulldog, you might want to make yourself scarce." Dani noted. Bulldog nodded, then walked away.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
"AGGGHHH!!!" Leathersuit ambushed Dragon, then knocked him into a tree headfirst. Jennifer threw a turkey with lightning powers into a wall. The crocodile-like teen smirked at the sight of Jennifer.  
  
"Hey baby, dump that dragon zero and come to a crocodile hero!" He called out to the She-Hulk. Jennifer looked at a downed Dragon, and she formed an evil plan. With a smirk, she sauntered over to Leathersuit, wiggling her hips.  
  
"Close your eyes and pucker up, hot stuff." Jenny cooed.  
  
"Alright!" Leathersuit did so happily. The teenaged Emerald Amazon then nailed Leathersuit with a gamma-powered kick to his nether regions. Every male in the immediate area, turkey, mutant, and human alike, winced and let out an "AWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!"  
  
"OWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!" Leathersuit jumped up and down, clutching himself, screaming. "YEOW WOW WHOO OW OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!"  
  
"NOBODY KNOCKS OUT MY MAN!!!" Jenny roared at the crocodile-like teenager.  
  
"Did anyone get the number of that truck..." Jake groaned, holding his head.  
  
"Sheesh, remind me never to get her mad." Ray gulped. The turkey he was fighting nodded with a gobble.  
  
"I think I'm gonna hurl." Hawkeye moaned.  
  
"That was so wrong. So, so wrong." Sam's face turned green.  
  
"Man, I'm glad I'm not that croc guy right now." Jamie wiped his brow gratefully.  
  
Aw man, Leathersuit really got hit hard!! What'll happen next? Can the gang beat the Dreadnoks and the turkeys? Will the insanity continue? Will everyone make it to the dinner and parade? Find out in the next chapter!!!! 


	9. Turkey Madness Ends!

Thanksgiving Madness!  
  
To RogueFanKC: Yeah, Leathersuit's ability to have kids may be in severe danger thanks to Jenny. (Jen: *grins* I'm ready for that WWE contract now!) I hope the turkey madness is over.  
  
To Wizard1: Glad you like the Dreadnok beatdown. And who knows where Hank and Tony got their paws on those Scottish swords. Foxfire's womanizing will end up getting him in trouble one of these days.  
  
To torque: Wow. That's...quite a...quite a lot of...of...uh...quite a lot of rambling back there, heh heh. Well, as for the turkey mutations, it seems each turkey was given a random power. I highly doubt anyone's crazy enough to eat radioactive turkey. Well, maybe except John. (Pyro: HEY!!!!)  
  
To Red Witch: I love Dreadnok torture!! (Dreadnoks: WHY US?!?!?!?! WHAT DID WE EVER DO TO YOU?!?!?!)  
  
To Sparky Genocide: I sincerely doubt even the Blob could stand a kick to the groin from the She-Hulk. (Blob: *Gulps* I'm glad she don't do that often! It's horrifying enough when Bree uses that move.)  
  
Chapter 9: Turkey Madness Ends!  
  
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(Downtown Bayville)  
  
While the X-Men, Misfits, and Avengers were battling the Dreadnoks and the mutant Turkeys in uptown Bayville, the people gathered in downtown Bayville to watch the local Bayville Thanksgiving Parade. The poor suckers had no idea what was going to happen to them.  
  
"HAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!" Sam speared into a turkey, and then suddenly collided with a pilgrim float.  
  
"AHHHHH!!!!! HEEEEEEELP!!!!!" Three scantily-clad pilgrim chicks fell off the Mayflower. One was caught seconds before she hit the ground by a silver, blue, and light blue blur. A second was caught in mid-air by Kid Razor, and the third had her fall broken by an arrow that inflated into a big purple airbag. Hawkeye, Razor, and Quicksilver met up.  
  
"Aw yeah! Who the man?!" They cheered, high-fiving each other. "Whoo!!!"  
  
"OH MY GOD!!!!!!" A woman screamed. A few superpowered turkeys started smashing up the floats.  
  
"Aw man." Hawkeye grumbled. "And we were going to get us some sweet tail!"  
  
"I hear you, brother." Pietro sighed. "Man, times like this is when I hate being a super-hero."  
  
"Comes with the territory, my friend." Razor smiled, putting a reassuring hand on Pietro. "Just do what I do. Do the job fast. More time for fun." Razor snickered evilly. Pietro smirked.  
  
"Fast is what I'm all about! Let's hit it!" Pietro sped off. Hawkeye and Razor winked at the pilgrim chicks, who blew them kisses.  
  
"I rule." Razor grinned as he took to the air. Hawkeye followed on foot.  
  
"I seriously need a motorcycle..." Clint panted to himself as he followed the mutant speedster and mystically-powered rocker. "Seriously..."  
  
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"Oh dear God, it was horrible." Kelly staggered down a street. Tears flew down his face, he had a limp, and his costume was in tatters. "It was horrible. So horrible." He then heard rumbling. "What the--?" He saw the Dreadnoks roll up, on their motorcycles. "Oh no." They drove straight towards him. "WAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!" With a CRUNCH, they ran Kelly over, flattening him like a burnt flapjack. "OWWWWWWW!!!!!" Leathersuit was riding behind Zandar, clutching himself.  
  
"Too bad your uncle Gnawgahyde's vacationing in Australia. I'm sure he'd love to see you like this." Zandar laughed.  
  
"I hate the She-Hulk." Leathersuit moaned. "What does she see in that nerd Wildfire? Ohhhhhh-ho-hooooooooooey. I can't feel anything below my waist."  
  
"Man, you should know better than to anger a gamma-powered Amazon. Especially one with a crush." Zartan laughed.  
  
"This coming from a guy bloody stupid enough to mess around with and double cross a blue shape-shifter who's been with more dudes than the cheap tricks in Santa Monica Boulevard!" Virus mocked.  
  
"At least I've gotten some, Virus!" Zartan snapped. "At least I'm not pining after that water-logged wench!"  
  
"DON'T YOU CALL HER THAT!!!!" Virus leapt on Zartan, and they started brawling.  
  
"Ten bucks on Zartan!" Monkeywrench whooped.  
  
"Will you bloody dopes KNOCK IT OFF?!?!?!" Zarana roared. "You're gonna make the bloody van tip over!!"  
  
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"We are triumphant!!" Thor crowed happily. "Those foul turkeys thought they could slay the God of Thunder! YEAH!!! HOW DO YOU LIKE ME NOW?!?!?!?" Thor pumped his hammer in the air, standing on top of a pile of fallen turkeys.  
  
"We claim this town Bayville in the name of Scotland!" Iron Man placed a Scottish flag on the front steps of City Hall.  
  
"I'm dreading the dinner." Storm sighed.  
  
"Could we stay for dinner?" Jenny grinned, motioning to her fellow Avengers.  
  
"The Kid of Rock wants food!" Razor said loudly.  
  
"I don't think the adults will mind." Tigra smiled. "Cap, Wasp, and Hank seemed only too happy to let us visit you guys. For some reason, they wanted Tony to come with us."  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
(Avengers Mansion)  
  
Outside the mansion, one could hear the sounds of drunken revelry.  
  
"WHOO-HOO!!! A BREAK FROM THE KIDS!!!!!!!! WE GIVE THANKS FOR THIS!!!!"  
  
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(Xavier Institute)  
  
"Okay, let's start cooking!" Jean squealed gleefully.  
  
"Oh God no." Peter groaned.  
  
"I dunno why you guys hate Jean and Kitty's cooking. Their food's pretty good." Paul shrugged as he happily chopped up some carrots. Peter shot him a disbelieving look.  
  
"Wait a minute. I forgot for a second. You are Paul Stanley Starr. You were put here to drive us all nuts!"  
  
"At least Paul appreciates good cooking!" Jean snapped as she held a spoonful of soup. She turned to Paul. "Starchild honey, how this soup I made?" Paul slurped up the soup.  
  
"Yummy." Paul grinned. Peter froze in terror. How could anyone handle Jean's cooking safely? Only Longshot never suffered any ill effects, but he was from another universe. Paul was a human as any of them, but how he could handle it was anyone's guess. Trinity did have a couple theories about that, but they were very complex. Ace walked in. "Hey Wildstar! Try this soup Jean made!"  
  
"Okay." Ace shrugged. Peter snickered.  
  
"He's got a healing factor. So does Logan. If that stuff can make Wolverine sick, then I think it'll kill your fleabag cousin." Peter snickered to Paul. A spatula flew in the air and smacked the Russian in the face. "OW!!!" Jean gave some soup to Ace, who happily slurped it up.  
  
"Whoa, that's some good soup!" Ace grinned. "I remember when Catseye tried to make soup once. Poor girl kept getting her ingredients mixed up. It was a complete disaster!" Ace laughed. "I was the only one who could stand that stuff."  
  
"I see Paul's not the only one who likes good cooking." Jean grinned.  
  
"I HATE THAT STARCHILD!!!!" Scott screamed. "AND I ALSO HATE HIS ENTIRE FAMILY!!!! I DON'T KNOW WHY I HATE THE STARR FAMILY, BUT I DO!!!!!!"  
  
"No, this is the right spice!" Roadblock snapped.  
  
"No, this is!" Beast snapped.  
  
"Aw no." Paul sighed. "3...2...1..." Right on Paul's count, food started flying.  
  
"TOMATO ATTACK!!!!"  
  
"BROCCOLI BLASTER!!!!"  
  
"PASTA WHIP!!!"  
  
"CORN SPEAR!!!!"  
  
"You got these people figured out, huh cuz?" Ace grinned.  
  
"Yup." Paul laughed. "You got that right."  
  
Well, the turkeys are done (and basted), Duncan's in jail, Kelly's all flat, and the insanity's not over yet. What'll happen next? Find out in the next crazy chapter! 


	10. Dinner Disaster!

Thanksgiving Madness!  
  
To Red Witch: Well, here's how I end this!  
  
To Wizard1: Yeah, Paul's luck seems to be way too good. Paul's a big believer in karma. He thinks if you're nice to someone, fate will be good to you. Yep, Bayville's now part of Scotland. They may eat the turkeys.  
  
To Sparky Genocide: Glad you liked the funny stuff! I do my best. I do plan to have some very special guests in my next fic! So, hang on! I would bring in Cobra Commander's kid Billy, but I don't know much about the character.  
  
Author's Note: The opinions expressed by Foxfire are strictly those of Foxfire and no one else. Thank You. And one naughty word does come out.  
  
Chapter 10: Dinner Disaster!  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
The X-Girls happily watched the Bayville Thanksgiving Day Parade. After some delays, it got restarted. The six girls squealed when one float appeared. Lance, Paul, John, and Craig were in their Superstars costumes and makeup, and they were performing. The foursome was covering Tesla's "Comin' At You Live". Ace was with them as well in costume, playing a blue Flying-V with a silver-and-black tiger-print fretboard. The X-Girls squealed and hooted as Paul sang and the guys played. Kitty nearly had a heart attack when Lance played a solo on his white B.C. Rich Warlock. Fox watched in disbelief.  
  
"I don't get it! I'm the sexy one! Why aren't they fawning over me?! The Hellion Hotties fawned over me. Man, these X-Girls are screwed up." Foxfire sighed.  
  
"I hope Greer didn't cook." Razor groaned as he walked by, Hawkeye with him. "She puts tuna fish in everything! Even in the tuna fish!"  
  
"You're telling me! I had to try her tuna fish scrambled eggs once. I nearly puked." Clint Barton grumbled.  
  
"I just realized something!" Tigra grinned as she ran from the kitchen with a grin.  
  
"What? That Mac & Cheese is not supposed to have tuna fish in it?" Clint snickered. Tigra blinked a couple times, puzzled.  
  
"No." She said. "I just realized that Ralph Kramden was very loud. He was like Thor. He yells a lot." Razor and Hawkeye had looks of disbelief.  
  
"Oh wow. What a discovery." Razor said in sarcastic wonder.  
  
"Amazing." Clint added in the same tone. "In-freakin'-credible." Meanwhile, Foxfire noticed a picture of Alpha Flight.  
  
"Hey, who are these clowns?" Foxfire asked Xi.  
  
"Oh, those are Alpha Flight. They're a team of heroes from Canada."  
  
"You mean those Canucks have a team of heroes? My guess is they all sit around, drink beer, and watch hockey, eh?" Foxfire laughed. Xi sighed.  
  
"No." Xi shook his head. He pointed at the members. "That's Shaman, Puck, Aurora, Vindicatior, Heather Hudson, and Northstar."  
  
"I'd love to met these clowns." Foxfire grinned. "That Aurora is a hottie. One look at yours truly, and she'd beg me to be with her." Xi shook his head.  
  
"If she saw you, she'd blast you with a light burst." Xi smirked. "That is, if she doesn't run you down. She and Northstar can fly, manipulate light, and have super speed."  
  
"They have a power of Quicksilver's?" Fox scratched his head. "Freaky. Anyway, you're just jealous that I get chicks."  
  
"I do not have a gender, Foxfire." Xi reminded.  
  
"Anyway, I could take these dopes." Fox shrugged. "I mean, they'd be too drunk to put up a real fight."  
  
"Just because they are Canadian, that does not mean all they do is drink." Xi reminded. {Odd. Foxfire never acts like this around Wolverine. Why does Jason not like Canadians? What have they ever done to him?} Xi mused. Foxfire then walked away, muttering something about how the world would be better without Canadians.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
(Xavier Institute, an hour later.)  
  
The X-Men, Misfits, and teenaged Avengers were all at the dinner table.  
  
"Hey!! Somebody feed the Kid of Rock!! He's hungry!!" Razor cried out.  
  
"Knock it off, Razor! And quit pounding your knife and fork against the table!" Scott snapped.  
  
"Hey bite me, Goggle Queen!" Razor snapped back.  
  
"Man, look at all this food. I love my work." Blob grinned, motioning to some of the food he made, traditional Thanksgiving cuisine. At the centerpiece, was a huge turkey, presumably one of the huge mutant turkeys. "All of this is art. Michelangelo worked in paint, Alvin Ailey worked in dance, I work in food."  
  
"Only difference is, this art is edible." Iceman grinned, reaching for a cob of corn. "Ow!" He drew his hand away after Kitty slapped it with a wooden spoon.  
  
"I'm sure we're all grateful for something on this Thanksgiving." Xavier smiled. "I am thankful that mutants, enhanced humans, and regular humans can sit together here on this table."  
  
"Hey, the Kid of Rock has no problem with mutants. Except for this one." Razor quipped, pointing at Scott.  
  
"Bite me, you guitar-playing jerk." Scott growled. Razor patted his head.  
  
"There there, my friend. We all have that time when we question our reason for existence."  
  
"I hope Tusk gores you one day, Razor. Then I'll be grateful." Scott growled.  
  
"I'm grateful I'm superior to all of you." Fox grinned. Everyone ignored him. "HEY!!! World's Sexiest Man speaking!! LISTEN TO ME!!!" Everyone still ignored him. "I hate you guys."  
  
"We're grateful Paul came into our lives." The X-Girls giggled.  
  
"I'm grateful Paul is not from Russia." Peter growled.  
  
"Or from New Orleans." Remy added.  
  
"Or lived in the sewers with the Morlocks." Ray groaned.  
  
"I'm glad Craig and I found a family." Paul said.  
  
"I'm grateful I found some friends that helped me out with Draconis." Jake smiled.  
  
"I'm grateful my Dragon's okay." Jen grinned, hugging the wrestler.  
  
"Hey!!" Dragon blushed.  
  
"I'm grateful I'm so perfect!" Pietro laughed.  
  
"I'm grateful I can do this!" Wanda said, slapping her brother upside the head.  
  
"Hey!"  
  
"I'm grateful that there are people around me that make me seem calm." Craig smirked.  
  
"Amen to that." Logan nodded.  
  
"I'm grateful I get to sit next to Storm." Shipwreck grinned, putting a hand on Storm's leg.  
  
"I'm grateful they invented cutlery." Storm stabbed Shipwreck in the leg with her fork.  
  
"And I'm grateful I can do this!" Bulldog punched Shipwreck out.  
  
"I'm grateful I got a second chance." Pyro cackled. "And I'm grateful for fire. I love fire."  
  
"I'm grateful I got Toddles!" Althea grinned.  
  
"I'm grateful I got a girl." Todd smiled.  
  
"I'm grateful I'm with a group of folks that think of me as more than just muscle." Fred raised his glass.  
  
"We're grateful we're proud Scotsmen!" Beast and Iron Man cried out.  
  
"Two letters, you guys: AA." Clint laughed.  
  
"I'm like Pyro, man." Hawkeye shrugged with a smile. "I did some bad stuff in the past, but the Avengers took me in anyway. I love those guys."  
  
"The Kid of Rock is grateful that he is the Kid of Rock!" Razor proclaimed. "And he's also thankful to Trey Parker and Matt Stone for bringing us that piece of heaven we call 'South Park'."  
  
"No surprise." Tigra rolled her eyes. "I'm grateful I found new friends in you X-Men and Misfits. I'm also grateful to the Avengers for looking beyond my catlike exterior and letting me be their friend."  
  
"I'm grateful that you guys are my friends." Kurt grinned.  
  
"I'm grateful that I have a place where we can just be ourselves." Bobby laughed.  
  
"I have never done anything like this before." Thor fidgeted nervously, clutching his hammer. "I give great gratitude to Captain America. He made me realize I could use my divine power to help mortals. He allowed me to join the Avengers. I am most grateful to him."  
  
"I have never done anything like this either, Thor." Xi said. "I guess I consider my best thanks should be given to Todd and Althea. They were my first real friends, and they taught me that I could define my own destiny and purpose."  
  
"I'm grateful to everybody for helping me be the Hollywood powerhouse I am now." Jamie said.  
  
"I'm grateful I found more family. So is X23 here." Ace patted X23's head. She glared at him.  
  
"You have guts, Wildstar." She warned.  
  
"AMEN! LET'S EAT!!!" Razor called out. The kids tore into the food. However, the peace did not last.  
  
"Razor, you throw your peas at me one more time..." Scott snarled.  
  
"Wanda, did you brush my leg?" Craig wondered.  
  
"Beast, I do not want any haggis!" Storm groaned.  
  
"Shipwreck, you hassle Miss Munroe one more time..." Bulldog growled.  
  
"Alvers, did you kick me?" Scott growled.  
  
"I want to give Paul the salt!" Jean snapped.  
  
"No! Ah do!!" Rogue snapped back.  
  
"Paul's my boyfriend, so I'll pass him the salt!" Tabby glared.  
  
"No, he's mine!" Dani yelled.  
  
"He's mine!" Amara shouted.  
  
"HE IS MINE!!!" Kitty screamed. A six-way catfight broke out.  
  
"I HATE THAT STARCHILD!!!" The X-Boys screamed as a food fight broke out.  
  
"Oh I knew it!" Xavier groaned. Jamie noticed something on TV.  
  
"Hey guys! Listen!!" He ran to the TV and turned it up. The image of Indy Daimanji appeared on the screen with a bar on the bottom. On the bar graphic read Senator Kelly Scandal! Again!  
  
"Indira Daimaji here with this exclusive report. We have been given footage from an anonymous source of Senator Kelly engaging with lewd behavior with what appears to be a mutated giant turkey. Now be warned that this footage may be too intense for younger viewers." The footage of a screaming Kelly being assaulted played. The gang burst out laughing.  
  
"I knew it, mates! I knew Senator Kelly was attracted to turkeys! Pay up, you guys!" John cackled.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
(Cobra Headquarters)  
  
The senior staff of Cobra and the Dreadnoks were forced to a dinner by Cobra Commander.  
  
"I wanna watch the big game!" Monkeywrench whined.  
  
"I want cheerleaders!" Torch sobbed.  
  
"I want Althea." Virus moaned.  
  
"SHUT UP VIRUS!!!" Everyone snapped.  
  
"I can barely walk." Leathersuit moaned.  
  
"Complain, complain." Cobra Commander grumbled.  
  
"I feel sick." The Baroness moaned. "I think it was the oysters." A Viper ran in.  
  
"Sirs! Look at this!" The Viper turned on a big screen TV nearby. The footage of Senator Kelly being assaulted by the giant turkey played. All the mutants burst out laughing.  
  
"Maybe if we're lucky, Senator Kelly will turn into a mutant!" Leathersuit laughed. "Ow. I hate the She-Hulk."  
  
"It would certainly teach that jerk." Zanya laughed, hi-fiving Virus.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
(Acolyte Headquarters, Location Unknown)  
  
"WHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Magneto and his Acolytes burst out laughing at the dinner table, watching a nearby TV.  
  
"Now that my Thanksgiving great." Magneto snickered as he got up and walked to a large empty area of the room. "Okay, now let me show you my latest plan. Release the globe."  
  
"RELEASE THE GLOBE!!!!" Shiva repeated loudly. A big globe came down, on top of Magneto's head.  
  
"HEY!! OW!! WHAT THE--" Magneto snapped as he stumbled around and tried to get the big Earth off his head. The Acolytes laughed. "Nice job, numbnuts!"  
  
"Oops!" Cortez, located on a high catwalk, covered his mouth in horror. Magneto got the globe off.  
  
"Sheesh, the help around here." Magneto groaned. "Okay, now I need that moon model. Bring it down."  
  
"BRING DOWN THE MOON!!!" Shiva screamed loudly. Cortez, swung down a moon model, and it hit Magneto where a guy should never be hit.  
  
"AWWWWWWWW!!!!" Magneto clutched himself and fell on the floor in a fetal position. "No way!" Cortez looked away with gritted teeth, Shiva struggled not to laugh. The male Acolytes winced. Magneto slowly got up, swore, and kicked the air. "Ow. Oh what a Thanksgiving this turned out to be!"  
  
"Yeah." Shiva fought a losing battle against her laughter. "Happy Thanksgiving! WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!"  
  
Well, Thanksgiving will never be the same again!! What'll happen in the next exciting adventure? What was up with Magneto? Will Kelly ever live this down? Will more insanity happen? Find out in the next story! Suggestions for future stories welcome! This is L17, signing off for now!! See you soon, and keep on reading!! 


End file.
